Face Down
by This Empty Path
Summary: Grell Sutcliff is a lover and a fighter. He's hurt by the people who love him, and finally, he's had enough. But how long can he maintain normality? It wasn't his fault he ended up face down in the dirt, but will he get up, or will the dirt be there forever? And how does Will feel about his final mission with Grell? Getting him to Heaven. Yaoi, Character Death, slight OOC, songfic
1. Face Down

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN KUROSHITSUJI/BLACK BUTLER, I JUST WANTED TO WRITE! I ALSO DON'T OWN ANY OF THE SONGS USED!**

**All of the chapters in this story will be songs, and I'm trying to make them all by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. Any questions? No? Okay. Our first song up to bat is Face Down. **

Grell smiled into the mirror, lightly curling his hair around his finger. He was just waiting for Sebastian to be out that night, but he sat with Will, talking about what he was planning for the night.

"I think I'm gonna wear that red and black lace teddy under my silk and tulle mini-dress." He said, wiping foundation on his face.

"Would you stop that, Reaper Sutcliff? You've applied four layers of that, you look fine, unless you're TRYING to look like a geisha." Will said; clearly intolerant of the man and the one he loved.

"Will… Do you see these?" Grell said, pointing out the still slightly visible bruises and a cut reaching from his left temple to his earlobe.

"Yes. And you have yet to tell me what happened to cause such blemishes."

"You know what happened, I know that Undertaker told you after he took me in to stitch me back up." Grell said, his voice lowering half an octave.

"You shouldn't let that demon-filth near you, let alone harm you."

"You hit me all the time, Will." Grell stated, painting his lips crimson.

"But I do it with reason. Now go do your work and stop distracting me from mine." Will said, rolling his eyes as Grell brushed mascara into his eyelashes.

"If you let me stay, I'll promise that I won't let him hit me. Never again." Grell said, adding blush and a soft touch of a mellowed-out red eye shadow.

Will sighed, putting his head into his hands.

"Will?" Grell asked, "Will, you know I can fight…"

"So why don't you, Reaper Sutcliff?" Will asked, irritancy seeping into his voice.

"Because…" Grell said, letting his voice go down that half octave again, "Well, if I told you, then it would seem stupid."

"Goodbye, Reaper Sutcliff." Will said, getting up and opening the door.

Grell sighed, walking out.

"Bye…" Grell said, frowning at the ground, but smiling the second he steps out of the door.

"Will-sempai!" Ronald calls, running down the hall.

"What is it now?" Will asked, voice flat.

"It was time for me to clock out anyways…" Grell whispers.

**GRELL SUTCLIFF'S APARTMENT, 9:32 PM**

Grell dragged his feet into the living room, boots off. Dragging your feet on the plushy, white carpet was like trying to walk through molasses, it was thick and you had to trudge through. When he finally got to his couch, he buried his face in his knees; not even his Prada red couch or painting his fingernails helped. But one thing did.

Crying.

So, he took of his glasses, letting tears run free down his cheeks. He sobbed into his knees, screaming all the while as he released his pain. He didn't notice it until it was too late, but his teeth had been digging into his wrist.

"So beautiful…" He said, putting a drop of blood on his finger.

Looking into the mirror, he smeared it onto his lips.

"Better than the darkest black…" Grell muttered.

He looked into his pocket mirror, smiling.

"But you know what would make me more beautiful?" he asked nobody in particular, running into his bedroom.

He pulled on a black tulle teddy that split down the middle, a ribbon bow tying the top in the middle of the heart-shaped chest cover. The tulle had darker areas where black lace was placed over it, and at the bottom, it had slight rushing of black and red silk, two bows on either side of it, just barely covering his hips that were peeking out of the black panties, garters hooked onto them which in turn had red ribbon around the top. The red ribbon garters had lace on them hooked onto black panty hose, which led down to feet covered by black stilettos. He pulled on his "special" red jacket, the red lace at the would-be cuffs and black lace lining the hem along the buttons, dropping halfway down his arms, about an inch away from his elbows. Looking in the mirror, he asked himself is he wanted a mini-skirt to go over it.

He passed on the mini-skirt, heading out the door.

Grell walked down the street, the scent of his beloved fresh, leaving a path. Chasing the white rabbit would be hard, but he would, just like the cat he is. He rounded the corner, faced with Sebastian, Ciel about ten feet away from him.

Ciel looked up, anger etched into his features.

"What are you doing here?" Ciel asked; his words harsh.

"Bassy!" Grell said with a smirk, jumping at him.

Sebastian stepped out of the way, letting Grell crash into the wall.

"Young Master, I believe it'd best suit you to wait in the carriage until we're finished." Sebastian said with a gentle smile that made Grell's blood boil.

"No, I'm staying here until my business is over." Ciel said, glaring at Grell.

"Young Master, it would be better for your health and safety."

"Sebastian, I order you, avenge Madame Red."

"Yes, my lord." Sebastian said, grabbing Grell's long, red locks, twisting them around his neck.

He pulled on the hair, then kicked him, causing the hair to unravel, but Grell, yet again to hit the wall. A sickening crack sounded. Grell's coat fell open, his attire now showing.

Sebastian kneeled next to him, smirking.

"I don't think YOU have what it takes to wear red either, Mr. Grell. Master, I believe we'd be better suited leaving him here to suffer, and of course eventually die. Shall we leave?" Sebastian asked, pulling the coat off.

Ciel sighed, walking back to the carriage.

"Very well."

Sebastian stood, taking a few steps away, his eyes focused on the young Earl whom so foolishly gave his soul to a demon such as him.

"I love you, Grell…" Sebastian whispered, so that just the ghost of the word came off of his lips, "I swear it."

Grell simply curled himself up, sobbing. As Sebastian got into the carriage, he screamed out "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A MAN, NOW? DOES THIS MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER?" as he dug his sharp teeth into both of his arms.

"No, I feel like I've done my duties and that I was right." Sebastian said, closing the door on his cries.

**ONE WEEK LATER, IN THE OFFICE OF WILLIAM T. SPEARS**

"Nobody can find Reaper Sutcliff…" Will muttered to himself.

His pacing faltered.

"What did that demon do to him?"

**LONDON, IN THE NEWLY-BOUGHT HOME OF GRELL SUTCLIFF**

Grell had moved away; burned away everything that he used to be. He took off his glasses, he changed into his old disguise, the one he used to be Jack the Ripper and the Barnett butler. He seldom left the house, ate, or even moved more than ten feet at a time. He had put his Death scythe away in his shed, and now only wore men's clothing.

Grell hadn't moved away, he moved on. He had a new life, but still anger from that night boiling inside of him.

"You fucking liar…"

"YOU FUCKING LIAR! I'M NOT LETTING YOU HOLD ME BACK ANYMORE!"

**THAT NIGHT, IN THE GARDEN OF GRELL SUTCLIFF**

Grell sat by the little stream that went through his backyard, pebbles surrounding him. He smiled at the little things, not one of them was perfect; that meant he didn't have to be either. He picked up the least perfect pebble, tossing it in the water.

The ripple effect it made was amazing, rings of shining water hit the bay of the stream, they seemed to last an eternity as they got larger, like the welling of a heart in love.

"You're me…" Grell said, pulling it back out of the water.

The pebble had a reddish hue over the quartz, probably something to do with the amount of dust in the air that night. It caught the dust because it was red, and so did his fingers. The edges were sharp, but the rest of the pebble was smooth. It had some dents in it, and a large black spot on it.

"The least perfect of all; but you got out of the water in the end… And because you were in deep, now you shine…"

He watched other pebbles flow down the stream; he knew he would never see them again; they were like people who had drowned in their own regret. They didn't pull themselves out, they waited around and drowned.

A dark form shifted behind him, catching in his roses.

"Why are you here?" Grell asked coldly.

"Because, I was right." Sebastian answered.

"What does that mean?"

"You've moved on. That's good enough for me."

"Go away, Sebastian."

Sebastian stepped forward.

"Go away, or I will kill you, Sebastian. That's a promise. If I wanted to get hurt again, I would just have tracked you down. I don't need you anymore. I don't need the pain to feel loved; I love myself now."

"Should I really heed that warning, though?" Sebastian asked, running forward in a sudden flurry, pushing Grell into the wall of his house.

"I told you I didn't need this." Grell said, kicking Sebastian's calf.

"Well, you might need this." Sebastian said, repeatedly hitting Grell's head into the wall.

"I don't!" Grell yelled between hits.

Sebastian used an older fighting technique, taking Grell's long, now brown hair, and wrapping it around his neck.

"Remember this?" Sebastian asked, unraveling his hair, hitting him against one of his rose bushes, then throwing him to the floor.

"I know you do." Sebastian said, stepping on his spine.

"I HATE YOU!" Grell yelled, sobbing.

"I must now take my leave, Mr. Grell." Sebastian said with a bow of his head.

"Do you feel like a man again? Does this make you feel better about yourself?" Grell asked, remembering a week ago, even though it seemed like years.

"No, I feel right." Sebastian said, walking away.

"I HAD SOMETHING NEW, DIGNITY, AND YOU HAD TO GO AND RUIN IT!" he yelled, sobbing.

Grell lay there, face in the dirt, cut and bruised.

"At least this doesn't hurt…" Grell said, still letting tears fall down his face and moisten the ground.

"I'VE HAD ENOUGH!" he yelled after Sebastian, attempting to lift himself, "LEAVE! AND DON'T COME BACK!"

Grell collapsed back into the dirt, sobs shaking and resonating throughout his body.

"This doesn't hurt…"

A thump of something landing next to him was all that was heard.

"Reaper Sutcliff…" Will said, looking down at his employee.

"Do you feel like a man, Will? Do you feel better? I mean, after all, with all of the things he's done to me, at least he's never hurt me verbally, or at least, never will have as much as you…" Grell said, handing him a comb.

"No… I never hurt you like he has…" Will stated calmly, taking the comb.

"Actually, the pain of rejection was the same with both of you… Brush my hair, I want to look okay when Hell takes me for it's second time…"

"Reaper Sutcliff, I assure you, you're not going to die."

"Will…. You're right… You're not my man. You have to hurt to feel like one… I'm leaving this world… At least what I'm feeling, doing right now doesn't hurt. I've finally had enough."

Grell sighed, pulling one of his wrists to his mouth.

"No…" Will said, a deep frown painting his face.

Grell bit into his wrist as hard as he could, letting the blood flow out of his arm, taking the other one into reach.

"Grell, you don't need to do this."

"I'm afraid I do, Will. And I want you to reap my soul. He doesn't deserve it." Grell said, looking at Sebastian's form on the rooftop.

Grell bit into his second wrist, his life seeping into that stream, along with the pebble he'd been holding all the while.

"I've had enough…" were Grell Sutcliff's last words, and they would not be forgotten, or in said in vain, and that was Will's promise.


	2. Misery Loves Its Company

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN KUROSHITSUJI, IF I DID, IT'D PROBABLY BE A FULL BLOWN YAOI/YURI WITH ONLY THE PAIRINGS THAT I LIKE. So, no Sebaciel. ALL RIGHTS GO TO YANA TASOBA (or however you spell his name, I don't care.) I ALSO DON'T OWN THE RED JUMPSUIT APPARATUS OR MISERY LOVES ITS COMPANY.**

**So, there was a change of plans, Grim Goodbye wasn't working for me... I think some of the random repetitive conversation came from how many times they repeat that goddamn long-ass chorus. But I chose the song Misery Loves Its Company. Merry early Hump Day. I don't know what I'm incessantly blathering about, but yeah. If you like it, review. Or don't. If you don't like it, go fuck yourself. No, I'm just kidding, you don't have to read it. You also might notice that I harbor some hostility towards religion. Don't take that in an offensive way, I just don't... I also apologize for how much vulgar language I use. **

Rain began to fall over London, a storm brewing. Will listened to it, he knew that it stormed and rained when Grim Reapers died; it was God's way of punishing the mortal realm for taking the soul of one of his immortals.

He looked at Grell's still form. He pulled off Grell's glasses, signaling his end as a reaper. He slowly picked up his spear, pushing the tips into Grell's body. He watched as his cinematic record spilled out of him, he took keen interest in it.

"Uh… Sempai? I believe he's on my death list…" Ronald said, peeking out of the shadows.

William looked up at Ronald, frowning.

"Very well… But I will observe what you are doing, mainly to ensure that Reaper Sutcliff's cinematic record and soul are kept in the correct hands. I'll be bringing assistance to undo his Binding." Was all that Will said, not a twinge of pain or sorrow in his voice as he walked away a few feet, pulling out his dispatch microphone.

"Sempai, why do reapers die? I thought we were immortal." Ronald asked, running a hand through his two-toned hair.

"Because, some of us are destined to. Like Reapers Alan and Eric, the case was the same. One of them had the Thorns of Death, the other simply couldn't let go." Will said, his voice in monotone.

"Isn't that a hindrance? Especially with our understaffing?"

"Yes, it's the one issue that even I have with the Shinigami Dispatch Society."

"Sempai?"

"What is it, Knox?"

"Why aren't you crying for Miss Grell?" Ronald asked, bringing his wet cheeks to William's attention.

"Because, work is no place for emotion. Also, the absence of my tears is my sobriety, I'll cry for him when I can get home and down a couple of drinks. It's the only way for me to feel for him."

"Are you and I destined for death?"

"No, not that I think. Now get to work."

"I think I am… No, I know I am. If Miss Grell had to die, we all will… But in due time." Ronald said, bending over to put his lawnmower in a position to take his soul, turning it on and revving it up.

"I will lead his soul on the way to Heaven or Hell. Now, excuse me." William said, taking the soul, vanishing.

Ronald continued watching the cinematic record as Grell and William appeared in the Spirit Realm.

"I can do it on my own." Grell said, brushing off the invisible dust from his shoulder.

"No you can't, your body's broken." Will said, pointing out his blood, which was still dripping.

Somewhere in London, it rained reaper blood that night.

Will slung Grell over his shoulder, then chose a more comfortable position, carrying him bridal style.

"I'm beat, not broken."

"I'm taking you. Now where to first?"

"Guide me to Heaven."

"We'll take a course of straightness, then turning right to Heaven, left to Hell."

"With your hands, words… Teach me that lesson you always wanted to, teach me how to listen." Grell said, his eyes clouded, mind dazed.

"No… You're not fucking going to Purgatory, I wouldn't even be so cold as to send you there. We'll restore your soul to human, take you to Heaven…"

"No, Christ isn't exactly… My type." Grell said, his eyes clearing.

"So what, you never told me you were what. Agnostic, Pagan, Atheistic, a SATANIST?"

"I believe in Him, I just don't share His views. I'm neutral, so it's almost like being Agnostic…"

"I should have killed you SO long ago."

"Persecution, much?"

"No." Will said, his eyes shifting. "I'm a Atheist, I choose not to believe in Him, He's never done shit for me."

"Hypocrite, much?"

"Stop playing mind games."

"You know what could help with your up-tightness?"

"What?" Will asked, rolling his eyes at the seemingly random question.

"Liquor."

"I already do drink. Rather lightly usually, but sometimes I do get over-worked."

"At least you get paid for overtime."

"No, I don't."

"So, you're working for free?"

"No, who does that?"

"You. I think you just don't realize it."

"Whatever." Will said, becoming annoyed.

"You know, I can walk on my own now." Grell said, looking at the floor.

"You're BROKEN."

"I'm beat, bleeding, dead, but not broken."

"I am NOT letting you walk."

"Just take my hand if I need 'support'."

"No."

"Or at least tell me where we're going."

"You're immortal essence is showing." Will said, trying to change the subject.

"No, that's you." Grell said, shifting to show him the light from his chest.

"Grell." Will said, almost asking for his attention.

"Yes?"

"I need you to let go of it… Your hate. It's the only way I can get you to Heaven, I'll take your sin, just kiss my cheek." Will said, his face twisting in a way that showed slight disgust, but care.

Grell gently pressed his lips to Will's cheek, breaking the kiss after a few seconds.

"God…" Will said, his eyes flashing from golden-green back to his silvery-green.

"You feel what I do…"

"Misery does love its company."

"What the hell are you thinking about that's making me see this… Acid trip-like thing?" Will asked.

"Dawn and dusk. I can hardly tell the difference."

"You are seriously deluded right now."

"I can WALK, William."

"No. You're broken, for the last time."

"I've told you, I'm beat, not broken."

William got to the shining gates. He looked up, dropping Grell's body.

"Let this man through…"

"He is a sinner, a sodomite." Peter said.

"No. That 'tis I you're feeling."

"I will let him in, for he is a being of my God, a Devine one, at that. But should he be a problem, my God will not be so generous."

**RONAL KNOX, IN THE GARDEN OF GRELL SUTCLIFF**

"Bloodly hell, Miss Grell had a sad life…" Ronald said. "I guess we're all destined to die someday, though."


End file.
